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Post by Supersaurus on Feb 8, 2010 14:12:34 GMT -5
Feel free to submit your jokes here! Here're a few I heard from my work colleagues:
I was at an ATM when an old lady came up and asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her over.
I had a dog named Minton who had an unfortunate habit of eating shuttle c**ks. Bad Minton.
A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says; 'no way, you won't bring it back.'
A suicide bomber runs into a pet shop and yells, 'you've all got 30 seconds to get out!' The tortoise at the back of the shop shouts, 'you swine!'
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stego
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Post by stego on Feb 8, 2010 17:25:33 GMT -5
Here's a funny one that requires a lot of thinking:
A man died peacefully in his sleep, unlike the passengers in his car
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Post by jpdude11 on Feb 9, 2010 20:48:04 GMT -5
Ok here's the first blondie guy joke:
there were 3 men one was a Latin American the other one was a Mexican and the last one was a blonde theywere all construction workers and it was lunch time and the Latin American opened his lunch box and looked in side and said " oh great corn and squash agian, I swear if I get the same thing tomorrow in gonna jump off of this building" then the Mexican opened his lunch bag and said " ay-ay-ay beans and tortilla agian I promise if I get the same thing tomorrow i'm gonna jump off the building also" and then the blonde opened his lunch and said " oh my gosh if I get another blona sandwich i'm gonna jump off this building too". On the next day they returned to work and at lunch the Latin American got corn and sqhash agian so he jumped off the building to his death. The Mexican opened his lunch saw that it was beans and a tortilla and also jumped to his death. Then the blonde opened his lunch and it was a blogna sandwich and jumped to his death.
At their funerals the latin Americans wife said "I wished he would have told. Me that he hated corn and squash". The mexicans wife said "he shouldve told me that he hated beans and tortillas", then every body looked at the blondes wife and she said " don't look at me the idiot makes his own lunch"
lol
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stego
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Post by stego on Mar 25, 2010 20:13:56 GMT -5
I have a funny, true joke.
I know someone who every sentence almost has to be swearing. He created this "languge" where he wouldsay 2 words and switch the first letters.
He said to someone "Bice noobs"
(I hope you get it and if it would be inappropiate, I will delete it,)
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Post by jpdude11 on Mar 26, 2010 16:56:05 GMT -5
I get it
Two blindies were driving to disney land the sign ahead said "Disney land left" so they started crying and went home.
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stego
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Post by stego on Mar 31, 2010 14:24:43 GMT -5
Here's my variation of the joke, These people are on the Jurassic park safari tour and see a sign that reads "T-Rex Left". They start complaning about safety issues to the driver.
A funny expression: "Carnotaurus Coprilite"
Carnotaurus= meat-eating bull
Coprilite= Fossilized dinosaur dung
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Post by jpdude11 on Apr 1, 2010 20:45:41 GMT -5
Lol I like that jp joke and where did you get that Carno crap joke from?
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stego
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Post by stego on Apr 2, 2010 6:47:32 GMT -5
I made it up myself
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stego
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Posts: 250
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Post by stego on Jun 29, 2010 8:42:29 GMT -5
Sorry to double-post but I am randomly posting this in the Jokes thread when it should be in paranormal.
I had an out-of-body experience this morning when I was standing at the sink. I was watching myself brush my teeth.
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Post by jpdude11 on Aug 22, 2010 13:20:38 GMT -5
Sorry to double-post but I am randomly posting this in the Jokes thread when it should be in paranormal. I had an out-of-body experience this morning when I was standing at the sink. I was watching myself brush my teeth. good hygene is everything  ok heres an joke about the COD:Black opps rc toy car (read about it in my thread) not an good idea to take it on an commercial airliner: "no officer that is not an block of C4 on my r-c car" C4-hghily deadly explosive used my millitary |
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stego
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Post by stego on Sept 19, 2010 10:53:09 GMT -5
Sorry to double-post but I am randomly posting this in the Jokes thread when it should be in paranormal. I had an out-of-body experience this morning when I was standing at the sink. I was watching myself brush my teeth. good hygene is everything ok heres an joke about the COD:Black opps rc toy car (read about it in my thread) not an good idea to take it on an commercial airliner: "no officer that is not an block of C4 on my r-c car" C4-hghily deadly explosive used my millitary What I meant is that I was standing in front of a mirror. www.freakingnews.com/Dinosaur-Pictures--1420-0.asp I found these funny dinosaur pictures. (My favourite is the thingyatoos) |
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Post by jpdude11 on Sept 20, 2010 17:31:21 GMT -5
LOL i love those pics, especialy the parrot one
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stego
Junior Member
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Posts: 250
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Post by stego on Oct 7, 2010 17:16:29 GMT -5
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Post by jpdude11 on Oct 7, 2010 18:55:02 GMT -5
i love the vid nice faces too........
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